| (no subject) |
[Jan. 3rd, 2009|01:49 pm] |
" You know I never could fall asleep on a train
All the time dreaming about moving away
Finally awake, I wonder
What if I pulled the emergency brake...?
Doors are still open and I wish they would shut
Then I could stop thinking 'should I jump and run?'
Only on page ten
And I think I gotta start all over again
When the tape slows down it means the battery's dead
May your songs never get stuck out of my head
If I ever fall aleep I remember my dream
Where everybody's there and noody leaves
Where everybody's there and noody leaves
Something below me starts cranking to life
The platform moves backwards until its out of sight
Tracks start to split
Got another ten hours till myh next cigarette
Biked round the city about a billion times
And a few seconds left until I leave it behind
Almost at the end
I close my eyesa nd we fall over the edge
When the tape slows down it means the battery's dead
May your songs never get stuck out of my head
If I ever fall aleep I remember my dream
Where everybody's there and noody leaves
Where everybody's there and noody leaves " |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 13th, 2008|03:39 am] |
If I ever leave this world alive
I'll thank for all the things you did in my life
If I ever leave this world alive
I'll come back down and sit beside your
feet tonight
Wherever I am you'll always be
More than just a memory
If I ever leave this world alive
If I ever leave this world alive
I'll take on all the sadness
That I left behind
If I ever leave this world alive
The madness that you feel will soon subside
So in a word don't shed a tear
I'll be here when it all gets weird
If I ever leave this world alive
So when in doubt just call my name
Just before you go insane
If I ever leave this world
Hey I may never leave this world
But if I ever leave this world alive
She says I'm okay; I'm alright,
Though you have gone from my life
You said that it would,
Now everything should be all right
She says I'm okay; I'm alright,
Though you have gone from my life
You said that it would,
Now everything should be all right
Yeah should be alright |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 14th, 2008|05:31 am] |
|
tomorrow might be the day I die
so I want, or rather must, confide
all these things I did, or did not,
try to hide.
well, if boys are boys and
girls are girls.
then boys and girls
are sometimes confused
and I am confused most all the time. well let's get one thing right
our friends are good
and their support is great
but the outcome is everything
and that's left to me and you so if today is that day I dread
then at least it can be said
that we, we did things right.
we wrestled with our sense of pride
and even if it didn't sound like a battle cry.
still we, we did things right. we hung up our relationships
for everyone to see
then blind interpretations
couldn't say what's right for you or me
and we could find out what we want
and make no apologies
because we couldn't coexist
any other way. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 30th, 2008|12:56 am] |
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Something is missing. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 24th, 2008|01:45 am] |
| [ | music |
| | Godflesh - Nihil | ] |
See me, Feel me, Hear me
You just ruin me
Hate me, Forget me, You don't see me
Come on feel my spite
See me, Feel, Hear me
You just fuck me
Hate me, Forget me, You don't see me
Come on feel my spite
Feel me, See me, You hear me
You just ruin me
Forget me, Hate me, You don't see me
Come on feel my spite
Come on suck my spite... Come on feel my spite... |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 20th, 2008|12:35 am] |
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all the fuck up things.... |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 12th, 2008|04:00 am] |
|
"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars" |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 11th, 2007|01:47 pm] |
The corpse of your god can only rot and grow cold
Now promise me you'll kill me before I get old
I hear you on the telephone
Moaning my doom
A cold woman will kill me in a darkened room
Just enough, a heart attack
Seal up my black body bag
Take me home and hate me, love
Bite the hand of our lost love
Take your time and take your life
Amputate with this dull knife
Heaven's meat is on the stick
Stir my pain with an ice pick
The chain-saw smile of the mortician shines
I still got all my fingers but somewhere I lost my mind
I can smell abortion on you
I can see through
I take the gun out of my mouth and point it at you |
|
|
| versus the world |
[Oct. 9th, 2007|12:29 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  aggravated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Amon Amarth | ] |
Today started out amazing. I was felt so happy and unbeatable. But not long after i started working it spiraled into shit. I got stuck putting up with assholes at work tonight (only person there tonight that i can stand was eileen), and i kept getting so much bullshit thrown at me today i was on the verge of quitting.
then is got even worse. Some lady was having a problem with the reciept thing so i was trying to fix it and i felt somebody grab me from behind and it was jackie. It really threw me off guard and i really didnt know how to deal with it. I just remember looking into her eyes and it killed me. I got all manic and i started burning and shit. Then of course bullshit continues the rest of the night, i just wanted to get home and relax but before i even get out of the car my moms asking me to carry a ton of bullshit in.
Now jackies pissed because i talked to her mom on the phone. Just what i need. |
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| "We're just mercenaries in a war against ourselves..." |
[Aug. 24th, 2007|12:22 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | aggravated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Wumpscut | ] |
"And suddenly there was war, we didn't remember it
A long time forgotten, there suddenly was war
And suddenly there was war, our children are dead
Burnt in the ruins that were left by war
This is war
And suddenly there was war, and the mothers they screamed
For revenge and reprisals for another war
And suddenly and suddenly
And suddenly there was war, with spoiling and death
And you fight alone if there's another war
Whole Life Is War and whole life is pain
And you will fight alone in your personal war"
I can feel artillery blasts in my head.
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 27th, 2007|10:03 pm] |
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This weekends going to suck. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 7th, 2007|11:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  scared | ] |
| [ | music |
| | AG | ] |
I can't remember the last time i took my medicine. I was so busy with senior project i didnt even notice until yesterday. When we where down in the grange i felt distant. Thats one of the old feelings that used to kill me back before i went on the meds. Then this morning, 4 am i went for a walk and i just felt so jittery and light headed, the latter of which is a big sign of withdrawl, my head felt like gelatin.
Right now i just feel...really weighed down, i feel really guilty about god knows what. I feel like i'm doing something wrong and i feel like i'm going to die soon, one of those impending doom kind of feelings.
Hopefully tommorow will be busy enough that i don't feel it, as long as i can get myself out of bed. Hopefully exploring tommorow with matt and lexie works out. Hopefully i can see jackie on saturday, i really hope that her and chrissy don't exclude me from their plans (whatever those may be) cause i still feel like i got jipped last weekend cause of my project and her cousin coming over and all that.
Hopefully i can get past this soon. Its the beginning of summer, im done with school i should be happier than this. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 5th, 2007|06:53 pm] |
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Got a 4 on my senior project! un-fucking-believable |
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| I want to tell you all a little story... |
[Jun. 4th, 2007|07:01 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Minor Threat - Look Back And Laugh | ] |
'Cause it makes me warm inside
It's about some friends growing up
And all the things they tried
I'm not talking about staple shit
They went for something more
I guess it was too much dreaming
Too much to hope for
One day something funny happened
But it scared the shit out of me
Their heads went in different directions
And their friendship ceased to be
I'm telling you I want it to work
I dont' like being hurt
Something's not right inside
And I can't always put it aside
What can we do, what can we do?
Try
I guess I make too much shit
Someday we'll look back and laugh
Mr. Present, go away
Come back and fuck with us some other day
Mr. Feelings, run and hide
You have no right to what you feel inside
Motherfuckers, quick to kiss
Talk your shit, but don't fuck with this
All I want to know is
Am I holding on? Am I moving on?
What can we do, what can we do?
Try |
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| Deadboy and the Elephantmen "Ancient Man" |
[May. 16th, 2007|10:33 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Agents of Oblivion | ] |
I can smell the churches burning,
like I'm near the fire's melody
And you're moving towards me,
so graciously
Feeling like an ancient man
I got heaven, I got hell in my hand
I got hell in my hand
This radiation spills from my heart
Darkness comes, darkness comes,
And darkness followed by,
And darkness followed by
How sweet it was,
Her teeth against my throat
I'm a ghost gone mad,
And an angel that don't smoke
Feeling like an ancient man
I got heaven, I got hell in my hand
I got hell in my hand
And this radiation spills from my heart
Darkness comes, darkness comes,
And darkness followed by,
And darkness followed by
I seen my reflection in the river in heck
Sister Sky whispered to her mother,
the Earth
Mother Earth,
I envy the night,
for it's absence is the light |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 23rd, 2007|12:10 am] |
So this is life
the normal way
was there a sign
all through the day
I can't find a sense for living
while the people smile and cry
They don't give an damn about me
No, they do not even try
Is there a god or is there a solution
Farewell to you I've made this conclusion
to switch off the pain when my nerves are torn
my bodyic hurts cause it's old and worn
Cancer eats my limbs, intestines and meat
mortal remains kept by mechanical beat
So you can't help me even if you try
you think of me please tell me why
Tell me why
Tell me why is existence so dark for me
Tell me why should I come back to life for free
Tell me why do you want me to get up again
Tell me why should I follow the advice of men |
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dennis_c's journal
sleepy
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